How not to drown in The Sea of Assholes

Posted: June 16, 2011 in Life

As my dearly departed sainted mother used to say, “God must love assholes.  He made a lot of them.”

Of course, unlike me, she was far too refined to use the word “assholes.”

A number of years ago I had a two part epiphany.

1.  Since I already knew the world had plenty of assholes, there was no reason for me to be surprised, angry or upset when my path crossed one.

2.  When someone appears to be an asshole one of two things is going on:

First, this may simply be a good person having a bad day.  If so, they don’t need me in their face.

Or, this could be a genuine asshole who needs a can ‘o whoop-ass opened up on ‘em.  But I don’t have to do it.  They will come across another asshole and serve each other.  Not my job.

Simply understanding these two things has greatly enhanced my peace.

“Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes.”

George Carlin.  Of all people…

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  1. Jason Braganza says:


  2. Jason says:

    I’m a new reader of your blog through the MMM article. Like with MMM’s blog I’m now reading through yours beginning to end. Thanks for sharing all the wisdom! Loved this post–reminds me of one of my dad’s favorite sayings: “Everybody on earth is an asshole. The trick is to learn how to get along with your fellow asshole.” I always hate when in hindsight I realize I was the asshole:)

  3. Andrew says:

    Re-arranging my library yesterday. Ran across “The No Asshole Rule”. Always good to riffle through for a ten-minute refresher.

  4. Krazy says:

    I have a quote up on my wall at work “Don’t argue with idiots, they drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience”.

  5. Bruce says:

    “:Or, second, this could be a real live genuine jerk who needs a can ‘o whoop-ass opened up on ‘em. But I don’t have to do it. They will come across another jerk soon enough and serve each other. It doesn’t have to be my job.”

    Yeah,but man! Sometimes it’s just sooooo hard not to. And it’s just so satisfying.
    (Of course,since I’m usually the jerk in question,uh……..)

  6. Trish Rempen says:

    So right!
    I’ve been thinking 2 things:
    1. Just because he/she is having a lousy day, it doesn’t mean I have to join them.
    2. Getting mad at that jerk isn’t getting me where I want to go, which is enjoying my day.

    They may be the same thing. They may be what you said.
    The trick is to remember it on the spot!

    • jlcollinsnh says:

      you are so right, Trish….

      especially when the rage begins to surge….

      Like Samual L. Jackson says in Pulp Fiction: “But I’m trying Ringo. I’m really trying.”

  7. Cassie says:

    I too, have been guilty of thinking it was my job to “teach” jerks, I love your idea that another jerk will serve that purpose ! Letting someone else do the teaching and allowing grace for those that may be having a bad day are great ideas for re-focusing my energy and attention on more productive things.

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